I haven’t written in a while. There’s a reason for that.
There are times when I am silenced and it is usually by the aching of my heart. There are just a few people in my life who I let close enough to hurt me and, true to form, it is always the people closest to you who hurt you the most.
I go within.
I have spent the last couple weeks evaluating my friendships, my relationships, and my loves. I have stepped outside of myself, looked, and listened to the shit the goes on between us –– the things we’ve said, the things we’ve done.
I broke down.
There were things I needed to say, privately, and things I needed to hear. I needed to know just how much he loves me and I needed proof of it all.
I got it.
I needed to mend a friendship with a powerful source –– a man who inspires me to greatness and a higher level of focus and understanding. He is my muse and my magnetic north.
I am drawn.
And there are others, these distractions, shape shifters, wolves wearing the skins of people, following me through the brush, waiting for me to stumble and fall –– waiting to pounce.
I am aware.
So, you see, when you don’t hear from me, I am waiting, I am listening, and I am watching. I am falling down the rabbit hole and into a wonderland of warped realties and infinite possibilities. I am figuring out who is who and what is what and I am taking note of it all.
After, all, this is from where the books come…
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