I didn’t know what to say. I couldn’t find my voice. I didn’t know what you wanted from me. I was defeated. So, I traveled inside my shell and began to take stock of my life and the long line of very bad decisions I’d made over the years.
All of them, personal.
I was carrying around all this baggage, all this weight, and wondering why I couldn’t rise. I took stock of my relationships and systematically began to dissect, dismember, and discard them.
One by one.
And when I was done, there were just a few people left and only one man. I wrote his name on the center of a sheet of paper in my notebook and stared at it.
Why was he still here?
Feverishly, I began to write, connecting dates, places, and occurrences to his name. I filled the front of one sheet and, then, the back.
There was so much.
Then, as I sat back and looked at the notes I made, I realized how important he was to me and how much he has changed my life –– how much he has changed the lives of the people around me.
It was October 2012 and, for the first time in years, I knew what to say. I found my voice and began to write again. You see, he had always given me back my voice when I lost it. He encouraged and built me up just as easily as he could hurt me and tear me down. We’ve been around and around but we always manage to come back to this same place.
I wanted to explore this and leave a record of it for the world to see so that, if we leave the earth today and ascend into heaven, those who are left will know.
We were here and we loved.
He may use his words differently than I, but we write them just the same and, then, we share them with you. Our arts may seem unrelated but a herald is a herald, regardless of the stump from which he or she shouts.
His words inspires mine.
He has been my lover, my friend, and my muse. He has brought me immense pleasure and incredible pain. There have been secrets and lies and people hurt in the wake of my devotion to him. There have been beginnings, endings, starts, and stops.
There has been us.
Now, there is How To Make Love To A Martian. Enjoy.