The messages are pouring in…​

“Karrine, why aren’t you blogging?”​

Honestly, I have nothing to say. I am so content with where I am and how I feel that there is nothing to say.

Right now, there is only being.​

For the past several weeks, I have been working closely with the authors I have signed to Steffans Publishing, helping them prepare their autobiographies and, all of a sudden, my entire career makes sense.​

Being able to give others a voice and to help these women work through their toughest memories and the events and people they had hoped to forget, has been quite an experience for me and has revealed more of my purpose.

I have had a significant amount of success in publishing and have learned the ins and outs of the industry over the past eight years. I have studied and honed my craft as an author, editor and now, publisher. 

I know how this machine works.​

I have ventured off into the world of television with small steps being made to diversify my portfolio as a writer but, there is something about a memoir that keeps calling me back. Still, more times than not, I have nothing to say of my life. More times than not, I’d rather live my life than write about it.

God knows there is so much left unsaid and I quite like it that way.​

But, I’ve done my work. I have stood out in my field and sold books to people around the world. I’m still selling books to people around the world. But what about those who haven’t been given the opportunities I have?​

Why not pay those opportunities forward?​

Why not use what I have learned to help others who will, undoubtedly, help others?

And my purpose for this stage of my life becomes clear.

So, I haven’t been blogging much but I have been writing –– I have been writing the life stories of some pretty extraordinary women who have lived through events with the weight to break them.​

But, they remain unbroken.​

There is much healing to be done and dark roads to traverse, down which I will hold their hands. I know where they are because I have been there before and unlike other publishers, I am not a machine gathering cogs but a woman who has done what I am asking of my writers.

Together, we are doing the work.​

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You’ve looked at our relationship from this angle and that and you still can’t understand it. You think it’s one thing when it’s the complete opposite and when I say I love him, you think that means something it doesn’t.

You try to guess and imagine and you’re always wrong.​

But, let me tell you one thing you haven’t figured. When you’re finished pretending like you love me, when you’ve shown your true colors, and said and done the most horrible shit to me –– when you have crushed my spirit and broken my heart and when I am down, even at my lowest…

…he’s the one who will pick me up.​

He will do so when you have gone just as he has when all the others left.​ He will say or do something that’ll remind me of who I am and of who you’re not. Without even trying or knowing, he will motivate me to excel and encourage me to, simply, not got a single, solitary fuck about you or anyone else who doesn’t add to my happiness. 

So, here’s the thing…

I will always love him ​and he will always be a part of my story.

And I will never be able to say the same about you.

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It’s hard to explain.​

Even though I wrote a whole book about it, I’ll never be able to explain it. For years, no matter what, he’s been there. Even when he was gone, he was there. ​

Other people come and go but he always, no matter what, stays.​

He may not be all mine, he may not be the best, but he’s here even when I’m not at my best. We say things, we do things, we hurt one another, other people hurt us but they don’t matter and our wounds heal when we’re together.

Our wounds heal when we’re together.​

People always ask me why I don’t just leave him. He’ll never be with me. I’d never be with him. I’m married. He’s everywhere. He said this about me in that song and this song.

Why am I still here?​

Because no matter what we’ve done, no matter where we’ve been, no matter where we’ll end up, we are connected by one thing and one thing only.​

Unconditional love.​

I depend on that love when someone breaks my heart. It is to him I run. And I know he depends on me and, when he does, I am there.

Never a question, never a denial.​

I don’t care where he’s been and he cares nothing of where I was the second before I fall into his arms. I don’t share in his world and he doesn’t participate in mine. We create our own where only we live, love, and know.​

And when I am broken into a million fucking pieces, it is he who makes me whole, who picks me up from the floor and reminds me he provides a greater love than that of any other man.​

He never leaves me.​

He never leaves me.​

So, the world doesn’t have to understand as long as I understand and he knows that there are no amount of miles, no amount of arguments, lovers, or lies that could make me turn my back on him or force him to walk away from me.​

It’s not easy.​

It’s not perfect.​

It just is.

56.​

Here we go, girls!​

Bathing suit season is here, for some of us, and on its way for others. And, let’s be honest, that ass has fallen a little bit since the winter. I’ll be starting the 30 Day Squat Challenge today and I encourage you to do it with me.​

I’ll take photos along the way, every week, to share my progress.

Now, this is just for your backside and bottom half. Most women have other concerns and need a little guidance in order to keep the rest of their bodies fit but can’t afford a trainer. Here’s a solution for those of you with iPhones and maybe Androids…​

The Nike Training Club app is built with women in mind and it’s free! The app is no punk, though. You will sweat and see your body change and fast! I focus on short workouts (usually around 30 minutes) twice a day. Some equipment is required so use your local gym or improvise with items around the house.

Get that body into shape, do it now, and do it for free!​

So, um…​

I decided to share a tiny bit of my waxing routine with you this Makeover Month. Now, most people wouldn’t share such intimate details but, in case you’re new around, I’m not like most people.​

I give less fucks than most anyone.​

So, here’s a little clip of my under arms being waxed as well as my…well…you’ll see.

Enjoy the cake, boys.​

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Don’t leave your lips unprotected this Spring, or any other season for that matter. But, take a look at the lip balm you are currently using and its ingredients.​

In brands like Chap Stick and Carmex, you’ll find a list of fragrances, camphor or menthol, and petroleum. Now, think about this –– all of the icky ingrdeients in your lip balm end up in your mouth and, eventually, in your system.

Yuck!​

Switch to a naturally derived lip balm (or make your own) and “bee” healthy!​

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First of all, forgive my dry cuticles in this photo. I’d been running errands all day, getting ready for my trip to New York in a few days.​

Anyway…​

I just had my nails done. I have not had them designed, as yet, but wanted you to get a look at the “before”. We are in Spring and the weather is warming up all over the country. And, while it’s warmer in some places than in others, we have slipped our hands out of our gloves and have traded our closed-toe shoes for open-toed ones.​

I’m saving my pedicure for the day before my flight to New York and am looking forward to adding just a bit of design to these nails before I leave, as well.​

For now, these nails are not acrylic but UV Gels. There is zero polish on the nails as my technician used a natural pink gel. I find UV’s lighter than acrylics, prettier, and longer lasting. I usually won’t need a fill for at least 3 weeks.​

Usually, I prefer to leave my nails this natural color so that, as they grow out, the new growth is less obvious and I find the natural look a bit more sophisticated.

If you live in the greater Los Angeles area and frequent the San Fernando Valley, visit Hannah at AQ Nail Spa and tell her I sent you!

[TIP] For those ashy cuticles of mine, I just used a dab of coconut oil. Problem solved!

​This Makeover Month, I have decided to go back to the look I feel defines me and my style. For years, I wore curly Indian extensions and lots of them! So, I called on my original stylist, the man who helped create the Vixen’s look, and we went back to basics!

Lawrence Ray Parker, known simply as Ray, provided the hair, the color, the cut, the styling and styling products for this full bodied, natural look. What better time for new hair than right now and as we get ready for summer.​

I achieve this look with about 12 ounces of hair (4 bundles) and styling with Ray’s LRC Hair Care System. The cut and color are custom, ofcourse.

If you would like to purchase this hair, email Lawrence Ray Concepts specify the desired length and number of 3 oz. bundles you’d like and you will receive a quote and ordering instructions.

In the coming days, I will post a video tutorial utilizing new a new LRC product, Shake & Go, not yet available on the company’s website, that is perfect for styling these curly tresses.​

Happy Hair!​

Every Makeover Month, I am sure to introduce Juice Beauty to my readers. This year, I am giving you an exclusive discount code to use during checkout!

PROMO CODES:

• KARRINE15: $15 off $75 or more plus FREE sample trio
• KARRINE50: $50 off $300 or more plus FREE sample trio
• Orders over $125 get a FREE deluxe size Green Apple Cleansing gel

Now, for those of you who are new to Makeover Month and my devotion to Juice Beauty, let me bring you up to speed.​

About fours years ago, I found myself if a really dark place. I was unhappy and unhealthy and it was written all over my face. Literally. My skin was dull and lifeless and had broken out so badly that my personal photographer refused to shoot photos of me!​ Stress, a poor diet, cigarettes, and vast consumption of alcohol had taken its toll and nothing I tried worked very long. Medications, being unnatural, would stop working after about six months, as my body built up defenses to chemicals.

So, as I sat in bed one early morning before dawn, I saw a commercial for Juice Beauty.​ It was longer than the usual 30 second spot but shorter than an infomercial. It may have been about 15 minutes long but that was long enough to convince me their products were what I needed to change my skin for the long term.

Here are a few facts about Juice Beauty that made me a believer, user, and advocate:​

• Juice Beauty uses powerful ingredients such as alpha lipoic acid, coenzyme Q10, DMAE, peptides, fat soluble Vitamin C and essential fatty acids for optimum results proven by clinical studies that have shown an 85% reduction in free radical skin cell damage (which means less wrinkles and sun spots!).

• Most beauty products that use “organic” in their marketing use only a few organic ingredients in a water base, making the total organic content dilute and often less than 5%. Instead of the typical water base that cannot be certified “organic or pesticide free,” Juice Beauty puts over 100 USDA certified organic powerful ingredients into a 100% certified organic juice base (made from over 30 different juices) thus bringing the total organic content up to 98% in every product.

• The Juice Beauty team continually searches the West Coast for the purest, most effective organic ingredients, including organic juices, aloe vera, honey, botanicals, plant oils, and raw cane sugar from farms that specialize in sustainable and organic farming. These amazing formulations are made without parabens, petroleum, propylene or butylene glycol, sodium lauryl sulfates, pesticides, phthalates, artificial dyes or synthetic fragrances.

Here is my order list for the season:​

• ​Blemish Clearing Cleanser ($22)
• Hydrating Mist ($22)​
• Blemish Clearing Serum ($29)​
• Antioxidant Serum ($45)​
• Stem Cellular Repair Moisturizer ($65)​
• Stem Cellular Repair Eye Treatment ($45)​
• Green Apple Peel full Strength ($45)​
• Organic Facial Rejuvenation Mask ($32)​

These products will last me well into the fall. The promo codes above will assist with your purchases and the videos below will show you how I use Juice Beauty, daily. I’ll film all new, updated videos when my shipment arrives!​

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I am so freaking excited about our 3rd Annual Makeover Month! 

For those of you who are new to my blog, Makeover Month happens every April. During the month, I share with my readers all I do to get ready for summer.

I will take you on an organic beauty journey with brands like Juice Beauty and Tarte. I will take you shopping with me as I scour malls, boutiques, and internet for affordable fashion. We will workout together and change our diets as we slim down and tone up for beach and pool weather. There will also be some home makeover tips, as well!

I’m really looking forward to this. I am so over Winter, ready for Spring, and dying for Summer.​ If you agree, join me for our 3rd Annual Makeover Month and let’s get ready for the sunshine!

I didn’t know what to say. I couldn’t find my voice. I didn’t know what you wanted from me. I was defeated. So, I traveled inside my shell and began to take stock of my life and the long line of very bad decisions I’d made over the years.

All of them, personal.

I was carrying around all this baggage, all this weight, and wondering why I couldn’t rise. I took stock of my relationships and systematically began to dissect, dismember, and discard them.

One by one.

And when I was done, there were just a few people left and only one man. I wrote his name on the center of a sheet of paper in my notebook and stared at it.

Why was he still here?

Feverishly, I began to write, connecting dates, places, and occurrences to his name. I filled the front of one sheet and, then, the back. 

There was so much.

Then, as I sat back and looked at the notes I made, I realized how important he was to me and how much he has changed my life –– how much he has changed the lives of the people around me.

It was October 2012 and, for the first time in years, I knew what to say. I found my voice and began to write again. You see, he had always given me back my voice when I lost it. He encouraged and built me up just as easily as he could hurt me and tear me down. We’ve been around and around but we always manage to come back to this same place.

Together.

I wanted to explore this and leave a record of it for the world to see so that, if we leave the earth today and ascend into heaven, those who are left will know.

We were here and we loved.

He may use his words differently than I, but we write them just the same and, then, we share them with you. Our arts may seem unrelated but a herald is a herald, regardless of the stump from which he or she shouts.

His words inspires mine.

He has been my lover, my friend, and my muse. He has brought me immense pleasure and incredible pain. There have been secrets and lies and people hurt in the wake of my devotion to him. There have been beginnings, endings, starts, and stops.

There has been us.

Now, there is How To Make Love To A Martian. Enjoy.

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